Sourcing References for First Job?

[keepsingin]

I have one reference, just need one more for an internship; any ideas of where to scratch up the other one?

The regular rundown of references is usually teachers/professors, head of volunteer programs where you've volunteered, colleagues, pastors, etc. 

Those of us who were homeschooled and have taken the non-traditional college route don't have teacher/professor references (I'll have some prof references after this fall semester but I need the references now). And I've volunteered at multiple rest homes and local community outreaches, but it wasn't organized under a program, so there wouldn't be any record of my name involved with it. I can't use a church leader as a reference because the person is related to me (same last name, as well). A former employer refused my reference request because it's been 3 yrs since I worked there, and because I worked part-time, so they "don't have enough to go by to recommend" me.  I didn't really know anyone else who worked at this company because it was a remote job. Kinda frustrating.

Any ideas?

[bjcheung77]

You wouldn't happen to have a family member who teaches you while you're homeschooled, would you? The administrator for your "homeschool" - such as your parents/guardian would be the best choice! In fact, they should be your first choice! Just enter in their cell phone number instead of the home number (as I assume they live under the same roof) and you'll be good to go.

The list you mentioned below - " The regular rundown of references is usually teachers/professors, head of volunteer programs where you've volunteered, colleagues, pastors, etc. " is a great list for individuals who aren't homeschooled. You need not tell the person you're homeschooled or anything, just give them "the reference to your homeschool administrator". Good luck!

[keepsingin]

That's a good title idea, except that they ask for the person's name as well. And since my teacher was my mom, I had ruled that out because everyone says it's very much frowned on to give family members as references. If they see a reference with the same last name, I'm told they usually don't accept it because it's a given that family is inherently biased.

[sanantone]

I don't know about this particular internship, but many, if not most, employers will not accept familial references. The whole reference check thing is absolutely stupid. I think I read somewhere that it was only 20% accurate in predicting future job performance. Who is going to choose someone who is going to give them a bad reference?

[Sacricolist]

You could still use your mom for the second reference, just use her maiden name. Make sure you tell your mom to expect the reference check with the caller asking for her under her maiden name. Make sure to give them your mom's cell phone number. If an email address is required make sure it doesn't reflect her married name, create a new email if necessary.

[bjcheung77]

**Ding ding** That's exactly what I was going to say as a reply towards that question... Unless you find "another person" or someone else to answer as your reference (like a church pastor or someone similar), then your final option/second option would be your mom. There is nothing wrong with that and they're not going to need much as it's just an "internship".

[jsd]

So... lie. Good advice, guys. 

[Thorne]

So... lie. Good advice, guys. 

It's lying to say that your high school administrator is willing to be a reference for you, even if your mother is the high school administrator? I'm not sure. I would agree on calling it unethical, but not a lie.

[jsd]

If they're asking for non-familial references, and you're having your mom use a false name (even if it is her former name) to hide the fact that you're using familial references, then I don't see how that isn't lying.

Also, it shouldn't be so hard to find two people who aren't mom to vouch for your work. If you can't, well...

[bjcheung77]

What happened? It's neither a lie or unethical and the reason is, you tell them the title of your reference.
Homeschool Administrator: You don't necessarily need to change the last name, it won't matter anyway.

If the HR/recruiter wants to speak with the administrator, it's all on a personal check to see how the applicant is.
Furthermore, the HR may not ask "personal" questions, more likely to ask how well they are at their school work.

If you don't want to use the homeschool admin, find others - Do you play sports? Like a summer camp or sports camp?
Anyone can be a reference, it's just that you want them to give the recruiter a good sense of your ability.

Lastly, it's an internship, you're not going to get grilled for having just one reference if you want to leave it with one.