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Thread: Could someone quickly look over my resume? I'm terrible at this!

  1. #1
    rickyjo's Avatar
    rickyjo is offline Baron / Baroness
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    Default Could someone quickly look over my resume? I'm terrible at this!

    I've historically been very bad with resumes. I need to get this one in sometime tonight (7 or 8 hours). I was hoping you could just give me some thoughts right off the bat. Thank you so much!

    -------------

    Richard J. Linder
    (719)--------
    N. ------------ (edited out because it's the internet!)
    ------------------
    ==========

    Objective:
    Obtainment of employment that hones and develops my skill-set as a technician and costumer support specialist; Additionally, I desire continued exposure to varied and ground-breaking technologies.

    Technical Skills:
    Strong background in computers and efficient implementation of technology
    Trouble-shooting hardware and software issues
    Certified by CompTIA for computer repair, costumer support, and networking (A+, N+)
    Certified by Microsoft in implementing and maintaining windows XP (MCP XP Pro)
    Familiar with windows operating systems and linux operating systems, as well as Mac OSX specifically, 95, 98, 98(se), me, 2000, server 03, XP (home, pro, media center), Vista (basic-ultimate), 7 (including ultimate), OSX 10.4, Ubuntu, and Slackware, and mobile operating systems including Windows, Android, Blackberry, and Symbian.
    Extensive experience in simplifying complex technologies for the average user.
    Helping the user learn basic troubleshooting and technical problem solving in the case of future incidents and good operational practice to avoid them.

    Education:
    Associates in Science from Excelsior College, conferred July 15, 2011.
    CompTIA: A+, N+ (delineates experience in computer repair, networking, and costumer support)
    Microsoft: Certified Professional, concerning XP Professional (certification proving ability to operate, and troubleshoot a windows XP pro Computer in a domain environment)
    Thomas B. Doherty high school, 3.7 GPA, numerous AP and honors classes attended while maintaining full time employment during Jr. and Sr. year, early graduation.
    FEMA and NFA disaster management training.

    Experience:
    Richard’s Computer Maintenance and Repair (8/08 - Present):
    Primary Duties: Identifying and troubleshooting technical problems ranging from failed hardware to malfunctioning operating systems and applications, training users to prevent and trouble shoot future problems, and answering costumer questions and concerns over the phone. Intrinsic motivation defines the life of a successful sole proprietor. Punctuality, communication and follow-through are essential to a happy costumer.

    T-Mobile (1/11-5/11)
    Primary Duties: Addressing and resolving user complaints concerning hardware, software, and other issues while maintaining a personable and professional demeanor.

    Tech for Less (1/08-6/08):
    Primary Duties: Detecting problems in hardware of unknown condition, coordinating with team members to efficiently process hardware while maintaining concise, detailed notes.


    Panera Bread (Breads of the World LLC) (7/06-8/08):
    Primary duties: Costumer service, constant maintenance, cleanliness, efficiency and attention to detail. My specific duties generally pertained to cleanliness; however, use of registers and handling of money was also required. I was often the first contact to costumers with concerns.

    Subway (10/05 - 7/06):
    Primary Duties: Direct and constant face to face contact with costumers while providing an efficient service and coordinating with other team members.

    McDonald’s Corporation (4/04-3/06):
    Primary Duties: Costumer service and strong communication with team and costumers were the primary responsibility in my usual position as first contact in the drive through.


    References:
    General Manager of Panera Bread: Matt -----
    Cell Phone: (719)------- Note: Please call Matt after 10:00am as he often works after midnight.

    Manager at Mcdonald’s: Jada----- (pronounced Jay-dah) Work Phone: (719)------ Note: Generally works in the morning and early afternoon.

    Additional References available upon request.



    *******NOTE: This works out to 1.5 pages single spaced in MS Word************
    Last edited by rickyjo; 07-21-2011 at 08:55 PM.
    Please stop corporate child abuse, learn about World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and other "troubled teen" facilities that abuse kids and cheat parents:
    http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...891082,00.html
    http://cafety.org/films/765-whos-wat...ds-montana-pbs

    The Goal:
    A.S. From Excelsior

    >>>COMPLETE!

    63 FEMA courses complete 1/2/10
    4 NFA courses Complete 1/5/10
    A+ (Computer Repair)
    N+ (Networking)
    MCP XP PRO (Microsoft Certified Professional)
    AP English Literature
    ALEKS Beginning Algebra
    ALEKS Intermediate Algebra
    ALEKS College Algebra
    ALEKS TRIG.
    ALEKS Intro to STATS
    Straighterline Macro Econ
    Straighterline Micro Econ
    Straighterline Accounting I
    Straighterline Accounting II
    Penn Foster Info Literacy
    Penn Foster Art Appreciation
    Penn Foster Music Appreciation
    Penn Foster Psychology

  2. #2
    Geezer's Avatar
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    RickyJo my son organized his resume using the following verbiage in the first two sections (followed by the education). I thought the personal qualities section was particularly relevant. Good Luck!

    Technical Expertise

    - Over 3 years of hands on, mission critical experience within Information Technology field
    - Excellent knowledge and experience with Network and Server applications
    - Excellent knowledge and experience with Windows and Unix operating systems
    - Proven expertise in identification and resolution of issues within network infrastructure from server to workstation within Windows and Unix environments.
    - Intimate knowledge of OSI framework, network sub netting, and telecommunications equipment such as multiplexing hardware
    - Language and OS: C++, Visual Basic, HTML, CSS, Windows NT/2000/2003/Vista/7/Server,
    Apple, and UNIX environments


    Personal Qualities

    - Extensive experience with both legacy and modern IT architectures with a solid history of delivering outstanding customer service. Genuine commitment to quality and customer satisfaction.
    - Organized, take-charge professional with exceptional follow-through abilities and detail orientation; able to plan and oversee projects from conception to successful conclusions.
    - Outstanding communication skills; interface effectively with upper management, vendors, staff, peers and users.
    - Ability to learn new concepts quickly, passion for steep and rewarding learning curves.
    - Ability to effectively operate in high-stress environments.
    Last edited by Geezer; 07-21-2011 at 05:17 PM.
    Excelsior - BS Business 2008
    Son #1 TESC BSBA Computer Information Systems completed June 2010
    Son #2 TESC BA Computer Science completed November 2010 Currently in Florida State (FSU) Masters CS program and loving it

  3. #3
    burbuja0512's Avatar
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    Rickyjo,

    I am actually pretty good at resumes and usually try to help my friends out with theirs, so I'll start off with a few suggestions and then perhaps come back later to offer more. I'm in a bit of a rush as I've been slacking all day and now have a bunch of stuff to do

    First of all, instead of listing out job descriptions, which is the bare minimum expected for a job, you will want to list out measurable accomplishments. So - not what you did, but what you did better than anyone else that you worked with. So instead of saying that you resolved customer issues, you would want to give a specific example. I know it's hard, but almost everyone has had some recognition at their job. Something like "Consistently recognized by internal and external clients for superior customer service" if you can't think of anything, but ideally you can list an award or recognition like this: "Employee of the month in June 2010 due to consistent achievement and customer compliments"


    Ok... gotta run for now, but I will come back and give more specific ideas in a few hours.
    Global MBA in Emerging Markets 4.0 GPA
    COSC BS, Business Admin


    Completed
    Spanish 80 | Humanities 67 | A & I Lit 72 | Sub Abuse 452 | Bus Ethics 445 | Tech Writ 62 | Math 53 | HTYH 454 | Am. Govt 65 | Env & Humanity 64 | Marketing 65 | Micro 61| Mgmt 63| Org Behavior 65| MIS 446|Computing 432 | BL II 61 | M&B 50 | Finance 411 | Supervision 437| Intro Bus. 439| Law Enforcement 63| SL: Accounting I B | Accounting II C+| Macro A | ECE: Labor Relations A | Capstone: A| FEMA PDS Cert |
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    Business info-http://www.degreeforum.net/general-e...g-three-2.html
    Info about my MBA: http://cps.regis.edu/globalmba/

  4. #4
    scorched is offline Knight Champion
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    My apologies up front as when communicating on the internet it's difficult to put constructive criticism without it sounding harsh sometimes.

    So as someone in IT who does hiring, my only overall complaint about your resume it that it looks just like the 1,000,000 other resumes I see everyday. Nothing really is distinguishing you from the pack.

    So what you need is a little more meat and potatoes in what you did at each job. Start with using this web site to see how you can better work-in some attention getting verbs.
    Resume Action Verbs - Boston College

    The reason I mention this, is because the high level companies and recruiters will scan your resume into their database and it will then look for certain keywords associated to the job your considering. And it will give you a ranking number, if your number #1 then your the first person called, if your number #101 then odds are you wont get called.

    Go to indeed.com and search for the job title you want and click on several jobs whether you intend to apply for them or not, and see what the requirements and special skills are. Then take the verbs along with what you just learned about that job you want and combine them in WOW factor statements about your prior jobs. Also revamp your objective into more of a summary, the interviewer really needs to see in a few sentences what you have done, for how long, because all the other pieces will come out during the interview. And you can throw in some things, that you want a challenging position that allows you to grow or expand yourself and your skills.

    And i am sure you know this, don't ever lie on a resume.
    Between the background investigations some companies do these days and the interviewer, they will find out.

    Hope this was helpful. PM me if you want something more personal.

  5. #5
    rickyjo's Avatar
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    Excellent stuff! This is exactly why I posted.
    I'm trying to work this into my resume now.

    I'm sure you've all heard this before, but, I have to be the worst resume writer of all time. I'm just not talented at making myself look good on paper, and frankly, at 22 years old I don't feel like I have a lot to work with. I also don't know how to make self employed sound good; however, it's where 90%+ of my experience and skill came from.
    Please stop corporate child abuse, learn about World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and other "troubled teen" facilities that abuse kids and cheat parents:
    http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...891082,00.html
    http://cafety.org/films/765-whos-wat...ds-montana-pbs

    The Goal:
    A.S. From Excelsior

    >>>COMPLETE!

    63 FEMA courses complete 1/2/10
    4 NFA courses Complete 1/5/10
    A+ (Computer Repair)
    N+ (Networking)
    MCP XP PRO (Microsoft Certified Professional)
    AP English Literature
    ALEKS Beginning Algebra
    ALEKS Intermediate Algebra
    ALEKS College Algebra
    ALEKS TRIG.
    ALEKS Intro to STATS
    Straighterline Macro Econ
    Straighterline Micro Econ
    Straighterline Accounting I
    Straighterline Accounting II
    Penn Foster Info Literacy
    Penn Foster Art Appreciation
    Penn Foster Music Appreciation
    Penn Foster Psychology

  6. #6
    marianne202's Avatar
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    Make sure your resume starts off with what you can do for the company, not what you want from them. Make sure you include a strong cover letter which highlights your skills and experience as it relates to THEIR business specifically. Use the same terms and words that are listed in their ad or the job description so if they use software to scan and select resumes for further review you will hit their key words and raise your score.

    I have my students use resume-resource.com as a source for a variety of cover letter and resume formats, Pongo.com is another source. Just remember that a resume and cover letter are your first impression, so make it count and let your skills and personality shine through! Good luck!
    Completed 2/09 - 5/13

    RHIA Post-Bac Cert - Stephens - 5/13
    MHA - Bellevue Univ - 3/12
    BSHS - Excelsior 12/10
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    ASLS - Excelsior 4/09

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    ECE - Abnormal Psych. - B
    ECE - HR Management - B
    ECE - Research Methods of Psych. - B
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    CLEP - American Govt - 58
    CLEP - Intro. to Sociology - 63
    CLEP - A & I Lit - 70
    DSST - Fund. of Counseling - A (65)
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  7. #7
    alleycat's Avatar
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    Rickyjo I would get rid of the high school. You have college now. Also references upon request. I would not place them on my resume. You should also build your business up and what you did in your business. Any sort of management functions.
    "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."~ Henry David

  8. #8
    scorched is offline Knight Champion
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    No you dont have the worst resume, my recruiter forwarded me that one on monday. Lucky for the person they interview better than their resume sounds.

    So just think of very specific things you accomplished, like when you were at t-mobile. I am sure you had some of the worst dumba** people calling for help. But maybe you figured out some unique way to make their experience better? Or did you provide feedback to the level 2 or 3 team to improve the troubleshooting menu because it helped reduce the amount of time per call. Basically tell me how you made t-moblle a better place while you were there. And then be able to tell me how great of a decision it will be to have you on my team because you will apply those same principles once I hire you.

    Simply put, qualify and quantify what you did using some of those verbs and you find your resume probably cleans up well.

    And yes, go ahead and ditch the HS listing.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickyjo
    Excellent stuff! This is exactly why I posted.
    I'm trying to work this into my resume now.

    I'm sure you've all heard this before, but, I have to be the worst resume writer of all time. I'm just not talented at making myself look good on paper, and frankly, at 22 years old I don't feel like I have a lot to work with. I also don't know how to make self employed sound good; however, it's where 90%+ of my experience and skill came from.

  9. #9
    blu2blu's Avatar
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    Check spelling, 'customer' not 'costumer.' Also I see no need to specify how Jada's name is pronounced. If the interviewer or background investigator can't figure out how to say that name then maybe you don't want to work for that company after all. Also are you dates of employment at McDonalds reversed?

    Instead of...

    "Helping the user learn basic troubleshooting and technical problem solving in the case of future incidents and good operational practice to avoid them."

    How about...

    "A skilled trainer. Taught over 200 users basic troubleshooting and corrective actions resulting in greater customer satisfaction and increased referrals."
    Last edited by blu2blu; 07-21-2011 at 06:11 PM.

    BA/Liberal Studies, TESC 2011
    AAS/Applied Electronic Studies, TESC 2010



  10. #10
    burbuja0512's Avatar
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    A couple more suggestions: Are you on LinkedIn? If so, you should include the URL to your LinkedIn profile along with your contact info. I like to do this so that employers can see that I'm relatively well connected, and so that they can read recommendations that former colleagues have given me.

    If you're not on LinkedIn - Don't wait - set up a profile tonight and connect with as many former colleagues as you can remember. There are some exceptions: don't connect with people that would have something bad to say about you. Also, don't connect with people who are generally well-known for poor performance. I connect with my clients and colleagues. I don't always have to know the person very well, but I don't want to associate myself with the office slacker just in case that would reflect poorly on me, or in the case that the slacker asks me for a LinkedIn recommendation.

    Other than the items that have already been mentioned, another problem that I see is the fact that you have two jobs listed where you've only been employed a few months.

    First of all REMOVE the months. Trust me on this - I see a ton of resumes and all of the best ones do not have months of employment, only years. To give an example, your most recent job would look like this:

    Richard's Computer Maintenance 2008 - Present

    Once you remove the months, you still need to consider whether you want to show jobs where you didn't work for at least a year. I absolutely will not even interview someone where I see jobs listed that show less than a year on one or more jobs. When I hire, I expect at least an 18 month commitment from the employee before they either seek a promotion within the company or move on. There may be good and valid reasons for you to leave a company, and you should never lie about where you have worked, but a resume does not have to include every little thing you've ever done in your life. Sometimes jobs just aren't a good fit and that's ok. However, if a job doesn't significantly contribute to your resume, it should be left off.

    Also, I assume that you changed your email address because you don't want to include personal details on an open forum. However, do make sure that you create an email account that is professional. So, if you do have a fun personal email address, keep it personal. You'll want an email address that includes your first and last name and nothing more. Formats that are acceptable are: first.lastname@email.com, first_lastname@email.com, firstlastname@email.com, or some variation of this. I have also declined to interview people with decent resumes because of silly or inappropriate email addresses listed on their resume.

    I do want to say that you've been really brave posting your resume here for open critique! It's hard to do that and I hope that the advice you get helps. If you're more confused now than when you started, I do have a good template to use that shows one of the most professional formats that I've seen. If you want me to email it to you, send me a pm.
    nleamons likes this.
    Global MBA in Emerging Markets 4.0 GPA
    COSC BS, Business Admin


    Completed
    Spanish 80 | Humanities 67 | A & I Lit 72 | Sub Abuse 452 | Bus Ethics 445 | Tech Writ 62 | Math 53 | HTYH 454 | Am. Govt 65 | Env & Humanity 64 | Marketing 65 | Micro 61| Mgmt 63| Org Behavior 65| MIS 446|Computing 432 | BL II 61 | M&B 50 | Finance 411 | Supervision 437| Intro Bus. 439| Law Enforcement 63| SL: Accounting I B | Accounting II C+| Macro A | ECE: Labor Relations A | Capstone: A| FEMA PDS Cert |
    Harvard Medical Dept of Continuing Education- Toxicology: Certificate of Participation

    COSC threads:
    General info-
    http://www.degreeforum.net/excelsior...tions+answered
    Business info-http://www.degreeforum.net/general-e...g-three-2.html
    Info about my MBA: http://cps.regis.edu/globalmba/

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