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Kid not doing homework
#11
(03-15-2018, 09:30 PM)Sparklette Wrote: For now, the teachers will be emailing the assignments to kid and parents daily. Again, far more accommodating than any teachers when I was in 6th grade.

My kids' school sends out an email to all parents with a list of weekly assignments, homework, upcoming exams for every class.  EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
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#12
As someone who didn't always do homework in school, it may well be that your son is bored stiff. I well remember having to spend weeks on subjects like long division because half the class "didn't get it". Having to deal with the most mind-numbing reading/writing assignments. But I got great grades for classwork and the major projects I had to do, so my teachers (in elementary school) didn't care as much. Maybe it was different back then. 

Maybe he just needs someone to take him aside and explain to him why he has to learn all this "stupid stuff" and do all his classwork. I wish someone had done that when I was younger. School, for the most part, was an absolute breeze for me. Even after elementary school, I would sometimes sleep through math class and didn't always turn in all of my homework and still managed mostly As and Bs on my report card while being in the advanced classes. Only ever failed one class, mainly down to personality conflicts with the teacher. 

But now? I'm looking at what I'm going to have to do to get a BA and it's looking a bit daunting. I wish I'd learned proper study habits when I was younger. I wish someone had really taken the time to explain why it was important that I actually do all of the assignments beyond "you have to do this". It's hard to unlearn the habits of not paying attention.
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#13
(03-18-2018, 06:46 PM)rachel83az Wrote: As someone who didn't always do homework in school, it may well be that your son is bored stiff. I well remember having to spend weeks on subjects like long division because half the class "didn't get it". Having to deal with the most mind-numbing reading/writing assignments. But I got great grades for classwork and the major projects I had to do, so my teachers (in elementary school) didn't care as much. Maybe it was different back then. 

Maybe he just needs someone to take him aside and explain to him why he has to learn all this "stupid stuff" and do all his classwork. I wish someone had done that when I was younger. School, for the most part, was an absolute breeze for me. Even after elementary school, I would sometimes sleep through math class and didn't always turn in all of my homework and still managed mostly As and Bs on my report card while being in the advanced classes. Only ever failed one class, mainly down to personality conflicts with the teacher. 

But now? I'm looking at what I'm going to have to do to get a BA and it's looking a bit daunting. I wish I'd learned proper study habits when I was younger. I wish someone had really taken the time to explain why it was important that I actually do all of the assignments beyond "you have to do this". It's hard to unlearn the habits of not paying attention.

I'm constantly telling my son "the reason you have to show your work in math is so that the teacher sees that you understand all of the steps" and "once you get to harder math, you can't do it all in your head, trust me!"  Guess what?  He does not care!  He can barely see past the end of his nose, so trying to get him to understand "this is for your own good" is basically a joke.  He's 14, I get it, he will mature out of this someday...I hope...

In the meantime, I just have to work with him to try to develop good study habits, and hope that someday they will "take" and he'll figure out that he needs to do it without my help (AKA nagging).

But I think lots of us wish we had learned stuff based on someone telling us, rather than the hard way.  I swear, if everyone did what I told them to, a lot more of my friends would have an inexpensive Bachelor's degree and better jobs... Big Grin
TESU BSBA/HR 2018 - WVNCC BOG AAS 2017 - GGU Cert in Mgmt 2000
EXAMS: TECEP Tech Wrtg, Comp II, LA Math, PR, Computers  DSST Computers, Pers Fin  CLEP Mgmt, Mktg
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#14
What I meant is more along the lines of what does he want to be? Does he want to be a fireman? Show him things he'll actually have to DO to be a fireman. Same with any other profession. Most kids aren't going to understand "this is for your own good" - I know I didn't. But they DO understand "you need to do X in order to get Y". In order to be a professional sports player, you have to at least make it through school and that requires knowing this stuff. In order to be a weatherman, you need to know advanced math and geography and this other stuff. If you want to be a music producer, you need to be able to calculate how much to pay people and still make money.

Set some actual goals. Let him know he can skip out on a lot of boring and stupid years of school by testing out early. Whatever he wants to be, set him on the path so that he can do it as soon as he turns 18. It may not work out quite that way, but it's definitely more motivating than just "you need to do this for your own good".
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#15
(03-19-2018, 02:28 AM)rachel83az Wrote: What I meant is more along the lines of what does he want to be? Does he want to be a fireman? Show him things he'll actually have to DO to be a fireman. Same with any other profession. Most kids aren't going to understand "this is for your own good" - I know I didn't. But they DO understand "you need to do X in order to get Y". In order to be a professional sports player, you have to at least make it through school and that requires knowing this stuff. In order to be a weatherman, you need to know advanced math and geography and this other stuff. If you want to be a music producer, you need to be able to calculate how much to pay people and still make money.

Set some actual goals. Let him know he can skip out on a lot of boring and stupid years of school by testing out early. Whatever he wants to be, set him on the path so that he can do it as soon as he turns 18. It may not work out quite that way, but it's definitely more motivating than just "you need to do this for your own good".

Ah - but my kid wants to go into the military through ROTC or the Naval Academy - meaning all 4 years of high school doing crap he doesn't necessarily want to, and getting the good grades and playing the game to get accepted into certain schools - just to spend another 4 years doing the same...just to get into the military to do the same...

And this week it's Aeronautical Engineer, sometimes it's Mechanical Engineer, sometimes it's Chemical Engineer...it does seem to center around Engineer. And it does seem to stay close to "pilot" as he is learning to fly through Civil Air Patrol, and he's loving it.

I don't know what else to tell him, other than to try to dissuade him from his path, which I won't do.  At some point, he has to have the maturity to figure out for himself how the game is played and to play it well - otherwise, he won't do well along the way.  He KNOWS the path, and what he needs to do, but as for actually doing it, that's a whole different story.
TESU BSBA/HR 2018 - WVNCC BOG AAS 2017 - GGU Cert in Mgmt 2000
EXAMS: TECEP Tech Wrtg, Comp II, LA Math, PR, Computers  DSST Computers, Pers Fin  CLEP Mgmt, Mktg
COURSES: TESU Capstone  Study.com Pers Fin, Microecon, Stats  Ed4Credit Acct 2  PF Fin Mgmt  ALEKS Int & Coll Alg  Sophia Proj Mgmt The Institutes - Ins Ethics  Kaplan PLA
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#16
Hi Sparklette,
First of all note why is he acting strangely and what might be the reasons of lack of interest in studies. Share the things you notice might be the reasons and you will be guided accordingly.
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#17
Has he been tested for any learning disabilities? 
He could also be twice exceptional (meaning he is gifted but also struggles from learning disabilities.) 
All students are eligible to be tested for learning disabilities by their public school (or if in private school, by the public school district that the private school resides in.) 

Is the homework that he isn't doing at home, additional assignments to what they do in school, or is the homework items he is not completing in class? If it's items he's not completing in class, then you need to find out why he is not able to complete them if the other students are. (If it takes a student longer to complete the same assignments as the average student, that could point to a learning disorder or processing disorder, which would make him eligible for accommodations, such as 1.5 or 2 times the time for taking tests or for writing assignments in class, etc. Also, documenting such academic needs of the student is important if they take the path to college and need accommodations for standardized tests and college courses, etc.

You might want to check out http://www.parentcenterhub.org ;  
https://sites.ed.gov/idea/
https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/section-504-2/ 

There is also the possibility of a 504 plan that can be utilized if he needs only accommodations (such as extended time or testing in distraction free areas, etc)

Just my 2 cents as I don't believe anybody has mentioned this possibility in the prior responses, and I'm well aware of how such accommodations and proper supports changed the trajectory of high school for my foster/adopt child who has blown everyone's expectations of academic achievements out of the water. 
(My FAC graduated a year ahead of high school cohort class as a Junior at 16 with over 30 college credits (all from community college courses both F2F and online) followed by an associate degree the follow year a month ahead of cohort HS class graduation from HS. No thanks to any of the public schools FAC attended. Had to get private tutoring after losing battles with the public school district to provide proper remedial services/instruction; but well worth the out of pocket expenses as it just shows that breaking the cycle of poverty and educational struggles of Title 1 and Students with Disabilities is actually possible if the proper instruction is provided. And its never too late, as FAC was 15 and finished up while attending college at 17;  although earlier is definitely better, as then they don't burn in neural pathways that will need to be rewired later on!)
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#18
(06-16-2018, 08:52 PM)miah Wrote: Has he been tested for any learning disabilities? 
He could also be twice exceptional (meaning he is gifted but also struggles from learning disabilities.) 
All students are eligible to be tested for learning disabilities by their public school (or if in private school, by the public school district that the private school resides in.) 

Is the homework that he isn't doing at home, additional assignments to what they do in school, or is the homework items he is not completing in class? If it's items he's not completing in class, then you need to find out why he is not able to complete them if the other students are. (If it takes a student longer to complete the same assignments as the average student, that could point to a learning disorder or processing disorder, which would make him eligible for accommodations, such as 1.5 or 2 times the time for taking tests or for writing assignments in class, etc. Also, documenting such academic needs of the student is important if they take the path to college and need accommodations for standardized tests and college courses, etc.

You might want to check out http://www.parentcenterhub.org ;  
https://sites.ed.gov/idea/
https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/section-504-2/ 

There is also the possibility of a 504 plan that can be utilized if he needs only accommodations (such as extended time or testing in distraction free areas, etc)

Just my 2 cents as I don't believe anybody has mentioned this possibility in the prior responses, and I'm well aware of how such accommodations and proper supports changed the trajectory of high school for my foster/adopt child who has blown everyone's expectations of academic achievements out of the water. 
(My FAC graduated a year ahead of high school cohort class as a Junior at 16 with over 30 college credits (all from community college courses both F2F and online) followed by an associate degree the follow year a month ahead of cohort HS class graduation from HS. No thanks to any of the public schools FAC attended. Had to get private tutoring after losing battles with the public school district to provide proper remedial services/instruction; but well worth the out of pocket expenses as it just shows that breaking the cycle of poverty and educational struggles of Title 1 and Students with Disabilities is actually possible if the proper instruction is provided. And its never too late, as FAC was 15 and finished up while attending college at 17;  although earlier is definitely better, as then they don't burn in neural pathways that will need to be rewired later on!)

I was in the gifted program back in elementary and junior high and don’t really see him as on par with the kids I knew there. He seems to “get” math but has no follow through and makes a bunch of mistakes until his dad checks his work. Writing is not his thing. I think the problem there is he won’t read anything. He only seems to learn about a topic if it’s to show his older brother up. That at least demonstrates he’s capable of learning, but needs motivation. He does seem to have an intuitive knowledge that it’s not useful or necessary to know about a lot of the things that are being presented, but hasn’t accepted he needs to do the assignments to get through the course.
I have him and the older brother doing supplemental reading projects with the hopes of him finding an area of interest. I marginally think it’s military history, but only some days. I’ve tried giving him physical projects to build, but he just races through with no real enjoyment. Doesn’t like sports. Loves video games if he can do well in them. Really likes to be superior at things and dismisses anything he is not excelling at as unimportant. Does seem to have a natural grasp at negotiating, but only when the goal is for his own benefit.
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