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+--- Thread: Advice / Tips for essay thesis statement. (/Thread-Advice-Tips-for-essay-thesis-statement)
Advice / Tips for essay thesis statement. - jnjohnson1986 - 11-22-2012
I am running out of ideas so I found this forum and figured I would ask here. I am writing a compare and contrast essay and am having problems with the thesis statement. We turned in a rough draft and my teacher left a note saying that I needed a thesis statement, which I thought I had included in the introductory paragraph. Well now I am lost and need some advice, below is the introductory paragraph (this is not the final draft so any type of advice changes welcome)
We all know what the outcome of the civil war was with the Union Army being victorious. But could it be said that the Confederate troops were superior to the Union troops despite their defeat? Even though the Union troops out numbered the Confederates 4 to 1, the Confederates were superior because they were previously prepared for harsh living conditions, and also had better leadership. If the Confederates had better means of transportation and greater numbers would that have been enough to change the outcome?
Advice / Tips for essay thesis statement. - Lady Grace of Pemberley - 11-22-2012
jnjohnson1986 Wrote:We all know what the outcome of the civil war was: the Union Army was victorious. But could it be said that the Confederate troops were superior to the Union troops despite their defeat? Even though the Union troops outnumbered the Confederates 4 to 1, the Confederates were superior because they were previously prepared for harsh living conditions and had better leadership. If the Confederates had better means of transportation and greater numbers, would that have been enough to change the outcome?
Some minor grammatical errors I noted are in bold. You may want to include a clincher at the end of the paragraph, such as "If the Confederates had conquered the North, how different would our world be today?". That's not the best example, but it gives you the idea. Something that grabs your reader's interest and ties in with the rest of the essay. Good luck, and I hope this helped a bit.
Advice / Tips for essay thesis statement. - LaterBloomer - 11-23-2012
Good morning, jnjohnson1986. In your paragraph, what do YOU think is your thesis statement?