Depressed

[april004]

I am on campus on break during work, and there is freshman orientation going on. Everyone is so happy and so brighteyed, looking at their future with the glass full instead of empty... at least the freshman are. Lots of commotion...lots of activities.

I actually had to hide in the library and cry and think of everything I missed out on.

I remember being 18 and thinking I wouldn't be able to go to college.

I learned alot from my Army experience....and I eventually got my degree...but

I wanted "that" experience.

I wanted it so bad.


I shouldn't be crying..

I am all for saving money but if my son has the option of brick and mortar vs. testing out..

I want him to do brick and mortar...

[frankiebleyes]

Its hard to know what to say, but maybe what you think you missed really wasn't what you think it would have been. I attended B&M at 18, and then joined the military, married, had children, raised them and almost died in the past year twice. My college years 2 plus before I married, were alright, but nowhere the great experience life, in general, has been. Enjoy what you have today because, as many of us oldsters learn the hard way, tomorrow is not always promised. Today is just that today.

I know that sounds corney, but I'm glad you are a graduate and you should be proud of yourself. I envy you because at 61 I still haven't gotten that BSLA and probably never will because of cost.

Take care and I hope tomorrow is great for you.

[Sunshine]

I totally know what you mean, April. I was just visiting my hometown, a college town, and campus was buzzing with activity. it was Dad's Weekend, there was a big football game, and all the various student clubs and organizations were outside meeting on the quad. There are a lot of really fun, positive things to get involved with as a B&M student.

Your son could still save a chunk of money maxing out CLEP credits AND take on-campus classes. The best of both worlds. Also, there is still a lot of fun to be had at the graduate level!

[irnbru]

I think you've probably learned a lot more about life in general by doing things this way around. How many individuals with 'some' college did you see during your time in the military; how many with chips on their shoulders?

Because of what you've done and who you are now, you are able to appreciate opportunities that other people have and possibly don't appreciate as much. Imagining college to be something and the reality of it are two different beasts. It's certainly not how you might imagine it from movies

Since you're looking at college students doing orientation, it's important to remember that the point of college is to come out of it with a degree! All those activities and 'enforced fun' shenanigans are massively secondary to the classes, exams and work.

You have your interests, you have achieved a lot and are better placed than ever to do what you want to do. Sorry if this is not a great pep talk as I think it's better to look at the reality of things, rather than wishful 'grass is greener' 3-4 years of tough and expensive work. End of the day, you took the route where you had the most control and needed to apply the most self-discipline. Like any other graduate (and by all accounts you're a great role-model for students in general) getting the degree is a first step to other things. And you've already taken several bounds beyond that. So let the newbies have their fun and think about your own and your family's future

edit: You just know you're going to look back at your original post and feel 'doh!' Still, it's useful information for everyone else so don't feel too daft about it

[april004]

I think I might audit a class or two. Yes, I have my degree but just to be able to listen to some of the lectures...and just enjoy the whole learning process. I'd love it.

[jackzack87]

Hi April

I know a little of what you mean. When I was 18, I watched all my friends go to college; college wasn't for me, really, my parents had a small family business and there was really only one "logical" thing for me to do.
It hurt watching my friends go off, imagining all the fun they were having, thinking of the girls they were meeting, and I didn't have a clue what a classroom looked like on the inside (I was homeschooled).

A year after all my friends graduated, I embarked on my first set of classes at the local CC. A true 'college experience" should probably not be based on a CC, but I though the students there stupid, the teachers crass, and the whole thing basically unattractive; save for the fact that I was able to learn in a chem lab

I took well over a dozen CLEPs and DSST at the local university and a private college, and I still was unimpressed at my encounters with higher education, formal style.

I still wish sometimes I could have had that youthful "experience" - something I'll never get back. The grass is always greener though, and I wonder how many times my friends thought about me as they were slumped over a plastic chair listening to a fresh grad student give a freshman lecture and wonder what they were doing there, how they were going to pay off that debt, and what I was doing; (and I'll say that I had quite an adventurous life in those late teen and early 20's years).

There is not shame in what any of us are doing; I'd advocate we are working harder, smarter and more mindful of realities in life than those college freshmen. Let your son decide for himself and support him in his endeavors.

[Lindagerr]

My husband has a large group of friends from college days that he stays in touch with and I always envied that. Recently I was reminded that some of my still closest friends are the ones I made during my late teens early twenties, not in college but at work. I have grown and matured to the point where I know we all have to appreciate the way we did things even if it was a crooked path. Our experiences and the way we have grown because of them are what make us who we are.

I too wanted my children to have that college experience, my 2 oldest each had learning problems and I thought it would be harder for them, my youngest is very smart and he could have gone to any college he wanted, but he didn't want to go away to college. So you can't plan your childrens life, you can only give them the oppertunities and hope they make the right decisions.


EDIT: This is a very emotional subject for me at this time. I just got back from an all expense paid trip to Amsterdam. Mark the friend I worked with over 30 years ago and my husband went to school with (he is also the one who introduced my husband and I), had a bucket list. This list included taking 12 of his closest friends and relatives to Amsterdam for one last party. Mark left on August 23rd with his brother, over the next month we were all to come at overlapping times and share a house with Mark. He was to come home with my husband and I today. My husband and I helped pack Mark and got him off to the airport with his brother on Aug 23rd. Mark arrived in Amsterdam the morning of the 24th and had a great day he was so happy to have made it there and was looking forward to the rest of us arriving. On the night of Aug 24th he went to sleep and lost his 8 year fight with Prostate cancer. Some of the other friends canceled thier trip, but we had talked to Mark and knew he wanted us to go. We went and toasted Mark at every chance we talked about how much he would have enjoyed so many of the things we did, and in our hearts we brought him with us. Coming home today was bitter sweet, it means we really have said good bye to Mark, but I know he will always be a part of my life and what I am today. Obituaries: Mark Bernick of Readington Twp., environmental chemist and organic farmer, dies at 55 | NJ.com

[taylor]

April,

Don't dwell on the past, move forward. Think of all the hard work you put into getting a degree and placing in those fitness competitions. Depression can make someone CHUBBY in a heart beat. Like William "Vanilla Shakes" said "CHUBBY or not CHUBBY?, that is the question." There's no reason for you to be depressed, you got 6 pack ABS. I got 6 pack ABS too in the fridge, but mine are called Anheuser Busch. Life's too short, go pump some iron.

[irnbru]

I think I might audit a class or two. Yes, I have my degree but just to be able to listen to some of the lectures...and just enjoy the whole learning process. I'd love it.

Do this. Sit in a lecture room for an hour, listening to (receiving) the information. No pause, rewind, fast forward

Have to do this at set times, for a whole semester. Complete regular coursework, sit in tutorials where you either know the answer because you've made an effort or don't because, normally, you haven't.

Sit a final (or more) exams, at a time you have to, without any choice.

Alternatively, do what most college students do; find past papers, practice enough to pass them, attend enough lectures to get through, hand in assignments for required credit, etc.

Finally, CLEP the class or do it by distance-learning in your own time

Strongly recommend you take/attend some regular lectures to get a feel for this. Especially when you add a mix of subjects into the procedure.

Taking CLEPs/tests/courses sequentially is one of the biggest advantages to this form of gaining college credit. The advantages are massive in terms of focus and control. On the other hand, having a more regimented, stable environment to learn and get support, especially for trickier topics is something that only college can provide. Distance-learning courses can nonetheless achieve most of this and the information is a lot more cut'n'paste.

[alleycat]

How about going to grad school? You will then be able to have that real college experience while getting your masters. Personally I do like in seat classes, I have had many teachers I have enjoyed. I have also had some teachers that were useless. Just to grad school.