Getting a pre-teen to FOCUS

[cookderosa]

I thought I'd post about this here since it seems a lot of members of this forum homeschool their children... or at the very least, definitely know a thing or two about concentration.

My stepdaughter is 12 and in the seventh grade. Her grades have been slipping the last several years and it seems to be really hitting rock bottom lately. She's not a stupid girl by any means, but I know that when I'm working with her, getting her to pay attention to anything school-related is almost impossible. When I actually can grasp her attention for a few moments, she picks up very quickly, but she rather sit there and pretend that she's dumb a lot of times than listen to what I'm saying.

I know this isn't unusual behavior for a child, but I'd love to know if anyone here has a good ideas on how to increase attention span, any sort of program perhaps or something that not incredibly tedious that she might actually enjoy doing. I've been getting her to read books a lot more lately, which I think helps a little bit, but I'd like to see what else anyone has done that they've found to be effective!

Thanks in advance!

Yep!! A couple things. First, I've been a homeschool mom for 15 years, and I assure you that you are pushing a rock uphill with this. My question to you is: is there anything that she can do for a good period of time without being told? For instance, can she organize a bedroom- cook /bake - pick out clothes/outfits - do her hair/nails/etc - watch a movie (or 3) - etc? I ask because, she likely CAN concentrate, but frankly might not be interested in what you want her to be interested in. Without "going there" I'll say I didn't have a great realtionship with "my" step dad, so I'm sure anything he suggested to me was met with eye rolls lol.

So, what to do? Support. Expose. Allow her to do new things, meet new people, etc. Support her interests, even short lived ones. Maybe she's getting into a rut- maybe time to try a new sport, club, or volunteer op. Having 4 sons, I don't know much about what girls do these days, but my kids do all kinds of things. They are all in sports, all in clubs, all volunteer, and all work. Even the 7 year old! Once she finds something she likes, support it. I'm sure this sounds so simple, but I really think it's the key. Encourage a rich and varried life. Life with purpose. It took me over a decade to get this simple concept, and I think about my children's education ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time. But, it's one of those lightbulb moments when you realize that they have their own minds and things that are important to us might not be to them.

I'm not saying she shouldn't do her school, require her to pass (as opposed to requiring A's/B's) but her "above and beyond" might be in something that's not academic.

Just my two cents- and so you don't think I have perfect kids, (HA!) my 17 year old is grounded AS I TYPE THIS for blowing curfue again, and my 13 year old is the most stubborn child on this planet - hands down! My 11 year old is too quiet for my comfort level, and my 7 year old struggles with reading and math. It's all just part of who they are.