Another Win for MAHA: Junk Food Banned From Snap Benefits in 12 States

[LevelUP]

Junk food banned from SNAP benefits in 12 states, a win for MAHA advocates
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Food/snap-ben...=124415390

Lyrics from the song "Rich Men North of Richmond":
"Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of Fudge Rounds."

I guess the song is playing out in real life.


Thoughts on this?

[NotJoeBiden]

The issue with this is many people on Snap benefits are in food deserts and do not have access to fresh, “healthy” foods.

[bjcheung77]

Oh snap! I love junk food! I got to look for alternatives now...

[LevelUP]

Oh snap! I love junk food! I got to look for alternatives now...

I like junk food too, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. Lots of breads/add-ons have sugar, and sushi rice definitely does. I’ll cut back where I can, but I’m not living a joyless life over it.

Quote from the article:
“The U.S. dietary guidelines recommend that men have no more than 35 grams and women no more than 25 grams per day.”
Sounds a bit misogynist. Who wrote the guidelines? Andrew Tate? lol (hyperbole)

All this MAHA stuff is going to start annoying people at some point.

[NotJoeBiden]

The year is 2027, I just finished drinking my daily ration of cobalt blue, MAHA brand essential oils, and spirulina powder before mandatory sunbathing in my tanning bed for an hour. I step outside, today was MAHA Check Day.

The National Wellness Guard was deployed to my neighborhood to scan us with hand-held nutrient analyzers. Anyone whose “bio-score” fell below government targets would be assigned a corrective program: kale deliveries, herbal tinctures, and mandatory sunrise calisthenics in the local park. Luckily I passed. The colloidal silver I had begun to take has turned my skin blue, giving me a rating of “maximum MAHA levels” on their machines.

I went to see my friend who was recently relocated to a wellness farm. She was once treated for her depression, but the DEA charged her with illegal possession and since relocated her to the Apple-funded rehabilitation center. I arrived and saw her through the window assembling iPhones. I peaked in to say hello, but was escorted out by Tesla’s Optimis robots who told me she is in treatment and not to be disturbed. I ask when I can see her, but their Grok AI malfunctions as they start telling me about the white genocide in South Africa. I left to head home.

On my way I saw an illegal processed food deal happening in the alleyway. Individual Redvines were being exchanged for large sums of $Trump coins. I didn’t stick around to watch. My friend got busted last week for carrying around a bag of skittles. He was considered “under the influence” and put into the slammer where underwent a liquid detox for a week. His bowles have never the same.

On my walk I started to feel a scratch in my throat, so I decided to stop by a Pharmacy for treatment. Inside I greet the AI clerk who prescribes me an “immune-optimizing” supplements and homeopathic kit. I wanted to ensure I never got a serious illness because those who failed to “overcome naturally” often disappeared from public view. I prepare to swipe my $Trump card, but was stopped by an offer on the screen to subscribe for an upgraded treatment package which included super Ivermectin. I declined it and the following fifteen deals and subscription plans, paid, and left. A week’s worth of wages, but better than getting sick I told myself.

I continued on home, injecting myself with the B vitamins as part of my treatment. Exhausted, I open the door and jumped on the couch. Suddenly a loud blaring voice comes on the radio “M-MAHA… it’s… uh… it’s time… for m-mandatory… b-breathwork.” It was 5 PM, time for RFK Jr. to lead us through mandatory breath work to clear our lungs and mind. “O-Okay… we’re g-gonna start with… a deep, uh, d-deep inhale… in through your… n-nose… two… three… four…”. I inhale knowing the biometics in my apartment would alert the government should I not comply. “H-hold it… h-hold… f-feel the, uh, the oxygen… re… re-aligning your c-cells… now… e-exhale… slow… through the m-mouth… two… three…”

I collapse out of exhaustion.