Sad story

[Lindagerr]

@Latebloomer You are not alone I change my picture occasionally (like 2-3 times a year) Purpleteen does seem to change every time I look, and my bad eyesight can't tell either. I like my current Picture I find it easy to find as I scroll down a page so I know to start reading after that. LOL

@Purpleteen Pick a time when neither of you is stressed and there are no interuptions. Do not bring up the past. Just talk about how you are sisters and you hope that you and she can treat each other with kindness and respect. Make sure you do not take offense at what she says and if she does not respond in a positive way just say "Let me know if you change your mind" and walk away. She may not be friendly right away but it might be a start of a better relationship.

[STG]

1. I don't see why changing my picture should bother anyone...

2. I think I spoke too fast about my sister...last night she was being really not nice ..oh well it was 6 and a half days of peace...

[PonyGirl93]

1. I don't see why changing my picture should bother anyone...

2. I think I spoke too fast about my sister...last night she was being really not nice ..oh well it was 6 and a half days of peace...

Haha, you changing your picture doesn't bother me per se, I just associate the avatar with the person. Like if ShotoJuko, Lindagerr, <insert other regular poster>, changed avatars I would not know what to do! I mean, heaven forbid you actually read the username.

[Lindagerr]

Purple your changing your picture does not bother me, as in I don't like it, it just confuses my tired eyes when I am speed scrolling.

Sorry to hear your sister has relapsed, try to just walk away or ignore her when she acts like that. You are obviously more mature then her, so don't let her bring you down to her level.

[LaterBloomer]

Doesn't bother me, it just confuses me. Like Pooh says, I'm a bear of little brain.

[caidan]

I think I have a different mindset than most. I do not believe that we need to get along with someone simply because we are family or related.

I have an older sister that I havent spoken to in over 15 years. Why? Because she is mean and cruel and I dont want her in my life. I have given her several chances and she doesnt change.

Do I hate her? No. Do I miss her? Not really. I feel sorry for her though, because she has alienated others in her life as well.

I believe in forgiving and I do forgive her. But that does not mean that I will allow her in my life or the lives of my children. She is destructive.

I did not choose her for my sister and would never have chosen her for a friend. On the other hand, I have friends that I have chosen and love them like sisters.

Purpleteen. If I were in your shoes, I would tell her that her behavior is hurtful and unacceptable as well as immature. I would tell her that if she would like to have a relationship, then she needs to stop her mean behavior. Her behavior will not change the things she doesnt like about you, but will only lead to further destruction of your relationship. I'd tell her it is up to her at this point whether a relationship is possible or not. Then move on if she chooses not to be nice.

[STG]

I think I have a different mindset than most. I do not believe that we need to get along with someone simply because we are family or related.

I have an older sister that I havent spoken to in over 15 years. Why? Because she is mean and cruel and I dont want her in my life. I have given her several chances and she doesnt change.

Do I hate her? No. Do I miss her? Not really. I feel sorry for her though, because she has alienated others in her life as well.

I believe in forgiving and I do forgive her. But that does not mean that I will allow her in my life or the lives of my children. She is destructive.

I did not choose her for my sister and would never have chosen her for a friend. On the other hand, I have friends that I have chosen and love them like sisters.

Purpleteen. If I were in your shoes, I would tell her that her behavior is hurtful and unacceptable as well as immature. I would tell her that if she would like to have a relationship, then she needs to stop her mean behavior. Her behavior will not change the things she doesnt like about you, but will only lead to further destruction of your relationship. I'd tell her it is up to her at this point whether a relationship is possible or not. Then move on if she chooses not to be nice.

At least you tried by giving her a chance...
I didn't give my sister a chance but she didn't show that she wants to change...until when she came back from France: she stopped for a week but she started again

[authorized77]

Gah! This is a terrible situation. I'm so sorry.

A few years ago my father kicked me out and has not allowed me to speak with most of my siblings. I haven't talked with them for years, and the youngest is only 12. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how this problem will ever get better except for time, because the only way my dad will allow us to have contact is for me to "repent" of my marriage and recant my beliefs about life.

You cannot have normal contact with abusive people. Forgive and forget sometimes means that you have a different relationship with that person. I would never ever allow someone who (God forbid) sexually abused my children to have normal, unsupervised contact with them, even if the situation had been moved on from.

Sometimes family is awful. Sometimes you have to move on with your own life. Parents and siblings are not perfect, and they're not good just because you're related to them. If someone is abusing you, keep a distance from them. Emotional abuse is not harmless. If your sister was beating you, I'm guessing that no one here would suggest you simply act as normal and continue trying to have a normal relationship with her. It's a little concerning that your family seems to think that this can be ignored. I don't think you should consent to something you feel uncomfortable about and your sister needs to be told that her actions are hurtful and unacceptable.

Is there a counselor you can see to talk about things like this?

I hope your sister grows up.

[STG]

Gah! This is a terrible situation. I'm so sorry.

A few years ago my father kicked me out and has not allowed me to speak with most of my siblings. I haven't talked with them for years, and the youngest is only 12. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how this problem will ever get better except for time, because the only way my dad will allow us to have contact is for me to "repent" of my marriage and recant my beliefs about life.

You cannot have normal contact with abusive people. Forgive and forget sometimes means that you have a different relationship with that person. I would never ever allow someone who (God forbid) sexually abused my children to have normal, unsupervised contact with them, even if the situation had been moved on from.

Sometimes family is awful. Sometimes you have to move on with your own life. Parents and siblings are not perfect, and they're not good just because you're related to them. If someone is abusing you, keep a distance from them. Emotional abuse is not harmless. If your sister was beating you, I'm guessing that no one here would suggest you simply act as normal and continue trying to have a normal relationship with her. It's a little concerning that your family seems to think that this can be ignored. I don't think you should consent to something you feel uncomfortable about and your sister needs to be told that her actions are hurtful and unacceptable.

Is there a counselor you can see to talk about things like this?

I hope your sister grows up.

My whole family ignores what she says. She calls everyone names, including my mom.
There was actually one counslor that I once spoke to but I was under the age of 18 and I didn't have parental consent because my mom wouldn't let me go. Somehow my mom ended up finding out and I got into big trouble...