College expectations

[Vle045]

As someone who often suffers from executive disfunction, like your son, trying to get things done is... a challenge. Example: Let's say that it's 9am. Which means lunch is in a couple of hours. If I start this assignment now, I might miss lunch. I'm going to do a bit more research before I get started on my paper. Now it's noon. It's time for lunch. I eat. Now I remember that I haven't done the laundry yet. But I have this assignment I need to finish. I sit and think about both for 15 minutes. I'll do the assignment first so that it'll be done. But, then I get distracted. Soon, it's 6pm. It's time to deal with dinner. I still have the assignment to do and the laundry isn't done yet. I'll do them after dinner. Well, the assignment isn't technically due for a couple of days. So I could still do the laundry and do some other household chores first. But, oops, more distractions. It's time for bed and I've done nothing today.

I never got any guidance about this when I was your son's age. I just got scolded for forgetting assignments. I probably would have benefited from someone saying "Okay, it's 4pm. Every day, we're going to empty EVERYTHING out of your backpack. We're going to write your assignments down on this calendar. Do you have anything due tomorrow? That needs to be done before everything else. You have a huge report due at the end of the month? Do we need anything for it? Supplies? A trip to the library? Make a list and we'll deal with it this weekend." and so on. Instead, I was left to flounder because, in spite of the disorder, I still got really good grades somehow.

I can relate to this myself sometimes.    For my son, I can tell him on the ride home from school that I want him to sit down and do his homework first.  But he will find every other excuse in the book to do other things “first”.  The next thing you know, it’s 10:00 at night and he still hasn’t done it.  He thinks he can do it ALL in study hall.  Um, no honey, that’s why you are already behind and this one is due first period.  If they would allow smart watches, I could probably set up calendar reminders to turn in stuff.  Or send him text reminders right to his wrist.  “It’s 1:39…. Algebra is about to start.  Did you turn in those missing assignments yet??”  This is pretty much what I do for work.  I use my Windows calendar to remind me to do certain things that I want to do on a regular schedule.